The western people can never imagine the ordeal that South Asian families undergo because of wedding of their children. A wedding ceremony here is expensive and the problem is most acute in India because of the curse of dowry. A family has to spend a huge amount of money even for their son's marriage but then they get some good compensation from the bridegroom's family. If you are the father of a daughter then all you can do is to curse your luck as you will have to pay a huge amount of dowry and also bear a huge amount of expense for arranging the wedding celebration. Don't think that such practices are only limited to the uneducated people. In fact, this practice is common among everyone in India.
I am putting here some arguments for keeping the wedding expense to a minimum.
1. If you can keep the wedding expense minimum then it will surely save you from getting into debt with high interest.
2. In stead of arranging a huge celebration (inviting 500 guests and treating them 5-6 food items), give the money to the new couple who can spend the money in a much better way (they can pay house rent for many years).
3. In every religion, wasting money and wealth has been termed as a sin. So, if you are a believer then you are acting against religion. No religion supports the idea that you run into debt or sell you home for arranging a wedding celebration.
4. The money that you save by arranging a small ceremony can help you when you get old.
5. If most people keep their wedding expense to a minimum level, then the money will be spent in better areas and thus the society will be benefited economically.
Well, you may say that it is your money and you have the right to spend it anyway you like. Yes, I have to admit that you are right. I just gave you some advice. To run into debt or not is your choice.
Do you have any other logic for it? If so then write in the comment area.
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Katie and I had our wedding a few weeks back... in the US, but in Indian style. Seriously... the bills were crazy. Easily could have used the money to purchase a nice flat in India.
Was it worth it? My parents had mixed feelings. My dad's final bash to throw, but at $60/plate + all the extras (invites, etc)... that's a tough deal. We take out friends out to eat all the time and don't spend close to that much for everyone.
So, I imagine, my parents... who's bank accounts have seen better days, will live like most upper middle class Americans - in debt and nothing to pass on to future generations. It's not really what Katie and I wanted.
Our other... probably more lingering regret is the waste of food. I know in Pakistan they have to limit wedding feasts because of this, but in the US, where wasting food is common place... wedding receptions that are catered end up feeding dumpsters more often than actual guests. It was sad to see such wonderfully delicious food go to waste.
The upside is that everyone did enjoy our ceremony and celebration... and Katie and I got to dance to Rafi's Jaan Pehchan Ho... ;) It's important that we not totally regret what can't be changed.
Our future duty is now to better inform our friends and family on how to get married, and how to make weddings not... so crazy or wasteful. It truly is a sin to waste, and a wedding should prepare a family for a future, not prepare them for financial mismanagement and waste.
Posted by: Dave Dash | July 6, 2006 10:30 AM | Permalink to Comment